Mandy Schumaker

PERFORMANCE COACH, TRAINER AND SPEAKER

Management

Are You Committed, Or Just Interested?

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I recently heard a wonderful quote from John Asseraf: “If you’re interested, you’ll do what is convenient-if you’re committed you’ll do whatever it takes.” This quote really spoke to me. Many years ago, I struggled a long time as to whether I should have my own coaching business, but I always had a lot of excuses as to why I couldn’t or shouldn’t. It was fear talking. Then when I finally started my business seven years ago, looking back, it was clearly from an “interested” place. “Oh,” I’d say, “if this doesn’t work out, I can always go back to a corporate job”. Or I’d leave the backdoor open by always perusing the help wanted ads, or when someone called me with a potential position, I’d be so excited about the possibility and rush to send in my resume.

It was clear I wasn’t really committed. I hadn’t shut the back door and said to myself, “this is it, you need to do whatever it takes to make this thing work”. And it wasn’t until I got that mindset, and it took several years-that it finally did start working. I started getting referrals, more speaking engagements; my marketing became more in alignment with my niche.

Where are you in your business? So here are some things to think about:

What’s stopping you from doing whatever it takes? What is preventing you from “shutting” your back door and having a “do or die” approach to whatever it is you want to achieve? Whether it’s a promotion, starting your own business, changing jobs, careers-what is stopping you from totally committing to that vision? I found it was really important to answer this question. Identify the things that were blocking me. For me, it was fear of failing, and a need for approval from others close to me of what I was doing and creating. Once I realized, unless I was fully committed to my coaching and consulting business, I would indeed fail and that by not becoming fully committed, I would cause disapproval from loved ones around me. Only then was I able to start doing whatever it takes. Really take some time to answer this question for yourself, it’s so important.

How do you stay strong to what you believe in? This question reminds me of the Mary Oliver poem, The Journey:

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do.

You already know what you need to do to stay committed to your vision, but do you love yourself enough to allow it to happen?

Get the support you need. One of the best pieces of advice I received when I was struggling to decide should I keep working on building my business, or go “get a job”, was “don’t go it alone”. Find the support you need to stay true to your course. It is not always easy to follow our vision, or destiny, and it’s certainly not always supported by some of those closest to us. So it’s important to find someone – a friend, a mentor or coach to help hold that vision for us, through bleak days, long days and even the darkest of days.

Remember, when you find the destiny you were born for, all you need to bring is your honor, your courage and your commitment.

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Do You Take The “No Excuses” Approach?

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We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.
Rudyard Kipling

“I’m too busy right now”, “Next year is probably a better time to start”, “I need to wait until the kids get settled into school”, “I need to wait until after the holidays”, “It was just really crazy last week, and I couldn’t get it done” “Are you kidding me, I can’t afford that now.”

Sound familiar? These are often the excuses we tell ourselves in our business. Even when we have the very best intentions to get more clients, build our business, attend more networking events, write a book, start a blog or newsletter, or start a new product.

I’m so surprised how often people stop themselves from doing something they say they REALLY want to do in their lives or business by using excuses. And what it boils down to is the INNER SELF DOUBT that consistently allows people who SAY they want more clients or to make more money in their business to question, over think and become unwilling to take the steps or do the work that can create the result. And it’s that same inner self-doubt that creates the excuses that come up, “I don’t know how to sell”, “I can’t afford that now”, and “I’m not sure that’s right for MY business.”

This inner self-doubt, the questioning everything, and the not taking serious ACTION when the solution shows up, all comes down to one thing that’s called…SELF SABOTAGE.

You need to realize that THE limitation around getting to the next level in your business is created by your own mindset. Once you realize that, you can change your perspective, stop using excuses and make the commitment to “just go for it”.

Here’s a process that I’ve seen work with myself and in my clients recently:

  • They make a firm decision (to succeed, to attend something, to write that book, buy something)
  • They stop over thinking and start looking at what’s in front of them in terms of solutions and possibilities
  • They spend time quieting the inner critic and the relentless self doubt
  • They are totally committed and they get very creative in looking at different ways of making it happen
  • They take ACTION in spite of the fear and self doubt

Once you make the decision to succeed, it’s time to commit to doing whatever it takes to make it happen.

Whatever it takes.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT:

Answer this question: What is it that you are wanting to do that you’re stopping yourself with excuses or money or time?

Make a list-be honest with yourself and if you see yourself doing this very thing…

Answer this question: How BADLY do you want this thing, whatever it is?

If it’s something you want really badly, then you need to approach it as a life or death situation. Shut all the “back doors” and “ways out”, stop with the excuses and start taking bold, decisive action towards what you say you want in your business or your life. It’s about saying YES to what’s possible for you, saying YES to all the opportunities that are before you.

Nothing is impossible; there are ways that lead to everything, and if we had sufficient will we should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.
Francois La Rochefoucauld

It’s The Worst It Will Ever Be…

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Okay-I admit it-I’m a self-proclaimed perfectionist (which others would agree with, particularly my spouse!) And while this characteristic has at varying times served me well, it has alsocaused a lot of “stuckness” on my part.

When I first started my business, I got stuck on everything. My business name, the logo, how the website should look, my business cards, you name it, I couldn’t get started on any of it-it all felt overwhelming. Mostly, I was worried that it wasn’t perfect, that it didn’t “look right”.

My resistance to moving ahead on these projects became so painful, I nearly went back into the corporate world and gave up my dream of having a coaching and consulting business! So I totally understand when I work with clients today who can’t seem to move forward on a particular project or goal that they are REALLY wanting to create or achieve. They have such gifts they need to bring to the world through their work, but they resist getting started or taking the first step.

What others think:

Resistance is one of the processes that masks fear. And more times than not, this fear is worrying about what other people might think. That worry, frankly, underlies all fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of humiliation, and even fear of success. We worry that whatever it is we’re setting out to do won’t be good enough in the eyes of others.

Trust me on this: You’ll worry a lot less about what other people think of you if you will acknowledge how infrequently other people think of you!

Everything good was once a bad first draft:

When I wanted to launch my first teleclass, and was anguishing over getting the marketing copy and the content perfect, someone said to me, “It’s the worst it will ever be, just go with it”. And I found this to be true. Once I got something down on paper, or took the first few steps on a project, I could always go back and change it, tweak it, even perfect it!

I saw a T-shirt the other day that captured this beautifully. It said: Everything good was once a bad first draft. You have to sit down and get that first awful draft finished so that you can begin polishing it through each successive approximation.

Assignment:

If there is something you are wishing to start, accomplish, complete, but can’t take that first step,try to figure out where the resistance is coming from-is it your own fears, worried about what others might think or say, fear of success. Whatever it is-it’s worth identifying.

Then just start-anywhere, write down a few things on a cocktail napkin, or type a few lines on your computer, or take just the first step to get going. Remember, you can always go back later and fix it. Someone also once told me, “Done is better than perfect”. Which is so perfect!

The path from good to great leads through good enough!!

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So, What Do You Value?

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“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and VALUES are in balance”

Brian Tracy

One of the most important things you can do for yourself and your business is to get clear on your values. This not only allows you to understand the points on your internal compass, it also motivates you to head towards them! They can be used as a framework for which all decisions you might make can be held up against for consideration.

Most of us take a lifetime to understand who we are. Through life’s experiences, some unpleasant, we gradually come to know what we value, what we believe and what we have for gifts and skills to make a difference in the world.

Unless we know ourselves and understand our values, we become attached to what lures us in, and mere objects of other people’s will. We can become outer-directed and lost inside. We can easily be attracted to money, power, control and prestige. The chase for these things often leaves us feeling empty and yearning for something more.

The three most important rules to understand with values are these:

1-There are no right or wrong values. Only right or wrong for the individual. Your values are right for you and mine are right for me. It’s highly unlikely any two people will have exactly the same values because there are an infinite number of permutations.

2-Only you can determine which values are most important for you, someone else cannot determine your values.

3-If somebody’s values do appear to be blatantly wrong-refer back to rule #1

Assignment

Make a list of your values. You might want to take a look at a list of possible values to help you get started.

1-Circle the key values

2-Now identify your top five. Don’t try to override your gut feelings with an internal conversation that goes something along the lines of : “I suppose I should really have family at number one, otherwise the wife/husband/kids will kill me.”

3-Examine these top 5 values by responding to these questions:

  • Are you living out these 5 values? In your family? In your business? In your community?
  • How are you doing with these values? Very well, or not so well?
  • Where are you living out of alignment with your values?
  • If these values were missing from your life, how important would that be to you?

Value-centered living or leadership is acting on our beliefs and our values. When we use our values to make decisions or help us lead our business or lives, we become inner-directed and outwardly motivated.

Is Procrastination Prohibiting You From Playing A Bigger Game?

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Procrastination.  We all suffer from it at various times.  Waiting to start that big project. Waiting to do some household chore. Waiting to have a difficult conversation with an employee, colleague or family member. Most of the time  we eventually work our way through it and get the things on our list done.

But the procrastination I find most concerning  and detrimental is the behavior that gets in the way of a bigger vision.  The clients I work with are high performing people.  They have talents and gifts to offer the world.  They know deep down inside that there is a bigger game to play, a bigger vision for their lives.   My job is to support them in that vision and help them get there.  Yet one of the common traits among my clients is that they often let procrastination get in the way of moving forward.  There is an underlying fear of giving up something they are doing now  in order to catch the bigger brass ring.  It’s that chasm between what we know and what is possible.

Procrastination technically refers to the avoidance of a specific task or work which needs to be accomplished.  But this technical explanation doesn’t begin to capture the emotions triggered by the word.  If your are suffering from procrastination issues,  its important to analyze those situations where your work or project  is not  being completed. Perhaps it’s one of the following reasons:

1. Lack of Relevance – If something is neither relevant nor meaningful to you personally, it may be difficult to get motivated to even begin.  It’s important to determine if the goal, project, task is meaningful you.  Working with either a coach or mentor, it’s important to dig deep to determine whether what you are avoiding is indeed  relevant to you and your bigger vision.  If the answer is it’s not, then let it go, get it off your list and figure out what is important.

2. Acceptance of Another’s Goals – Has a project been imposed or assigned to you by someone else?  Maybe it is not consistent with your own interests,  or values.   If this is the case, you  will probably get it done eventually — you may be “required” to get it done.  But it doesn’t have to become part of your goal or vision.

3. Perfectionism-If you feel everything needs to be perfect before you can start a project, you may stay stuck for a very long time.  I have clients who feel they need to have their website up and running before they can talk to a potential client, or they have to have a completely free schedule to start their book,  or they have to have all of the right managers in place before they start working on team development.  Certainly having a plan and timeline in place for each of these scenarios is helpful, but being able to see that “done is better than perfect” can help you start taking some small steps forward.

4. Fear-Many people fear taking steps that move them forward towards their vision or dream, because it means letting go of some of the things they are doing today.  If, for example, someone wants to play on a bigger field, it may require giving up certain things they are doing today — things that bring in money or keep them at a certain status.  It’s giving up what is familiar now for much greater possibilities down the road.  By fully embracing your bigger vision, breaking down the steps and projects into bite-size pieces and continuing to hold that vision  for yourself, can help lower the anxiety and actually get started.

5. Ambiguity-Are you unclear what is expected from a task, project or field work that has been assigned to you?  This can be another roadblock to procrastinating behavior.  By asking the pertinent questions upfront, you can be more clear as to what is expected.

6. Time Management- How are your time management skills?  Working with a coach who can put you through an assessment or two around this area can quickly help you determine where you are with time management.  By focusing on some of the areas that may  play into your procrastination issues and taking some steps to improve them, could greatly improve your productivity.

7. Can’t Say No- Many times people suffer from procrastination because there is too much on their plate.  Have you been unable to say “no” to others and then found yourself with so many projects you have become paralyzed?   Look at everything on your plate and prioritize it.  What can go, what should stay?  Which items  move you towards your bigger vision and which ones are sucking the life out of you?  These are important questions to ask when sorting through all the various projects, tasks and commitments that you are currently facing.

If fear is holding you back from a bigger vision or playing bigger in the world, I would like to speak with you.  As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “we must do the thing we fear the most”.

I would like to hear your comments on this post.  Or if something resonated with you, please feel free to contact me at 207-653-6977 or mandy@mandyschumaker.com to continue the conversation.

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What Leadership Skills Could You Let Go Of?

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I have spent the last few weeks trying to convince my 3 1/2 and 7 year-olds that there are quite a few toys in our playroom that they probably no longer need and might want to consider giving away.  Things they’ve outgrown, like the early ride-on toys, or the baby pushsticks and the baby walker.  I’ve tried to explain that as we get bigger there’s certain toys and even behaviors that we can let go of, so we can make room for new toys and new behaviors that might fit much better where we are at a particular time.   As you can imagine, none of these conversations have gone over very well with either of them.  In fact, neither one is buying it and feel they need keep “everything we have” just for a little while longer.  This conversation did get me reflecting about our own “toys” and behaviors as leaders that may have gotten us to a certain place or position within the organization.  But are they still necessary in our current leadership roles or positions?   

I remember what it was like when I was promoted into my first executive role, from regional sales manager to national manager at a Northeast metropolitan newspaper.  The national manager’s role was considered part of the senior leadership team, and I was by far the youngest member of the group.  At 27, I had risen fairly quickly in my career, this new position being the fourth promotion and fourth newspaper since embarking on my newspaper career.  I share all this only to provide some context.   I  had risen to this postion primarily due to my  independence, agressiveness and technical sales and managerial skills — skills I quickly learned were not as valued or useful in my new role.

One of the biggest challenges for me in my new position was that while I knew the expectations for my performance in this executive role were very high, it was difficult to get a handle on what exactly was expected of me.  It seemed I was left to figure that out on my own, and that realization certainly came with a lot of frustration, stumbing blocks and quite frankly, egg on my face more times that I’d like to admit. 

Collaborating with my peers, versus acting independently, was a lesson learned.  My technical skills, while still important and valued, quickly took a back seat to new skills I needed to take on, such as becoming more strategically focused, coaching my team,  and learning to communicate more broadly.   I now had to look  at the organization from the outside in, instead of from the inside out.

As Scott Eblin writes in his “must read” book on this subject, The Next Level: What Insiders Know About Executive Success:

“If success at the next level comes down to just one thing, it may be the art of strategic choice.  Making the choice to pick up a new behavior or belief or to let go of one that is no longer serving you requires the capacity to step back and ask yourself, ‘Given what I’m trying to do or accomplish, is this serving me?’  The people who are most successful in dealing with change or navigating the uncharted terrain of the next level are those who choose to step back and get some strategic perspective on what is working and what isn’t.  They then apply that perspective, not just to their career, but to their life as a whole.”

As coaches, we so often talk with our clients about what skills and certain types of behaviors might be missing from their toolkit.  But today I urge you to take a look at what you might stop doing that doesn’t serve you anymore; something that is, in fact, detrimental to your success as a leader in your organization.  What’s working for you and what isn’t.  What early ride-on toys, baby sticks or walkers can you give up?


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