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You Must Be Clear On What You Want

In a conversation this week with a new client, I asked, “If you could wave a magic wand, where would your business be 12 months from now?” He spoke about wanting to transition his work from acrylic to oil paints (he’s an artist), hopefully get into a state museum, and get into a couple of galleries outside of New England. I asked him if he had an income goal in mind and he had to stop and think a minute and said, “It would be great if I could get to $60,000”. When I asked him how he was doing towards that number…he didn’t know.

I must say, I am consistently surprised how many entrepreneurs I speak with aren’t clear on how much they want to make. It’s almost like they are afraid of drawing that line in the sand, because it then means that they have to commit to making it…or not.

It’s important to be absolutely clear on what you want for, and from, your business. In my experience of working with entrepreneurs the past ten years, I can tell you that those clients that knew where they wanted to be in their businesses 12 months, three years, five years and ten years down the road, have hands down been more successful than those that weren’t clear on what they wanted or where they wanted to go.

And the clearer you are with yourself about what you want to accomplish, the more clear it will be to the Universe to help support you in the effort. So if you have not written down what you want to make in the next twelve months, I would request that you do it today. Write the number down, in pen and put it somewhere where you can see it once a week or so. I am confident that in twelve months, you will be pleasantly surprised with the results!

Do You Take The “No Excuses” Approach?

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We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.
Rudyard Kipling

“I’m too busy right now”, “Next year is probably a better time to start”, “I need to wait until the kids get settled into school”, “I need to wait until after the holidays”, “It was just really crazy last week, and I couldn’t get it done” “Are you kidding me, I can’t afford that now.”

Sound familiar? These are often the excuses we tell ourselves in our business. Even when we have the very best intentions to get more clients, build our business, attend more networking events, write a book, start a blog or newsletter, or start a new product.

I’m so surprised how often people stop themselves from doing something they say they REALLY want to do in their lives or business by using excuses. And what it boils down to is the INNER SELF DOUBT that consistently allows people who SAY they want more clients or to make more money in their business to question, over think and become unwilling to take the steps or do the work that can create the result. And it’s that same inner self-doubt that creates the excuses that come up, “I don’t know how to sell”, “I can’t afford that now”, and “I’m not sure that’s right for MY business.”

This inner self-doubt, the questioning everything, and the not taking serious ACTION when the solution shows up, all comes down to one thing that’s called…SELF SABOTAGE.

You need to realize that THE limitation around getting to the next level in your business is created by your own mindset. Once you realize that, you can change your perspective, stop using excuses and make the commitment to “just go for it”.

Here’s a process that I’ve seen work with myself and in my clients recently:

They make a firm decision (to succeed, to attend something, to write that book, buy something)
They stop over thinking and start looking at what’s in front of them in terms of solutions and possibilities
They spend time quieting the inner critic and the relentless self doubt
They are totally committed and they get very creative in looking at different ways of making it happen
They take ACTION in spite of the fear and self doubt

Once you make the decision to succeed, it’s time to commit to doing whatever it takes to make it happen.

Whatever it takes.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT:

Answer this question: What is it that you are wanting to do that you’re stopping yourself with excuses or money or time?

Make a list-be honest with yourself and if you see yourself doing this very thing…

Answer this question: How BADLY do you want this thing, whatever it is?

If it’s something you want really badly, then you need to approach it as a life or death situation. Shut all the “back doors” and “ways out”, stop with the excuses and start taking bold, decisive action towards what you say you want in your business or your life. It’s about saying YES to what’s possible for you, saying YES to all the opportunities that are before you.

Nothing is impossible; there are ways that lead to everything, and if we had sufficient will we should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.
Francois La Rochefoucauld

3 Steps to Improve Your Listening Skills

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Someone once said that there’s a reason we are given two ears and one mouth. The implication being, we should listen more than we speak. It can be a challenge to learn to listen as an executive or business owner. But the good news is, listening is a “learned skill” and becoming a better listener is totally worth the effort.

Most executives or business owners are often in the spotlight and expected to be the one leading the conversation, having all the answers and driving the conversation. Therefore, often times that expectation pushes people into constantly and consistently being in the speaking role, rather than the listening role. From my experience as a business coach, being a good listener is one of the top five competencies a leader must have in order to be successful. Because for employees (and all of us), there is nothing quite as satisfying as being heard. It’s the first and foremost way to nurture the creative, imaginative and impassioned energy in our employees. An excerpt from the essay, “Everybody is Original” by Brenda Ueland, states:

“…this joyful, imaginative, impassioned energy dies out of us very young. Why? Because we do not see that it is great and important. Because we let dry obligation take its place. Because we don’t respect it in ourselves and keep it alive by using it. And because we don’t keep it alive in others by listening to them.”

What are some things we can do to improve our listening skills?

1-Become an Active Listener-Use eye contact and “listening” body language. This includes looking directly at the speaker without staring, giving them eye contact, and your full attention. Avoid looking at your watch, at other people, your computer or cellphone, or other activities around the room. Lean toward the speaker, showing them you are fully aware of their speaking and their words. Provide feedback with your body, nodding your head as it is appropriate.

2-Be empathetic and non-judgmental-When you value the speaker and accept the speaker’s feelings you will be able to empathize more fully, to “hear” more clearly and completely. Forego judgments. Be present with the speaker, so you can hear, comprehend and understand what they are saying.

3-Paraphrase/Tell Back-Listen so intently that you are able to paraphrase back what the speaker told you. For example, you might say, “What I heard you say was…” When you can “tell back” (not necessarily in the “exact” words, but in similar words) what the speaker has said, this lets them know you have truly heard them.

Too few people really “hear” what others say. To quote Ueland once again from her essay, “The Art Of Listening:”

“Remember, it is not enough just to will to listen to people. One must really listen. Only then does the magic begin.”

Listening is an art, and a gift you give to others, and a skill that’s very worth acquiring.

It’s The Worst It Will Ever Be…

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Okay-I admit it-I’m a self-proclaimed perfectionist (which others would agree with, particularly my spouse!) And while this characteristic has at varying times served me well, it has alsocaused a lot of “stuckness” on my part.

When I first started my business, I got stuck on everything. My business name, the logo, how the website should look, my business cards, you name it, I couldn’t get started on any of it-it all felt overwhelming. Mostly, I was worried that it wasn’t perfect, that it didn’t “look right”.

My resistance to moving ahead on these projects became so painful, I nearly went back into the corporate world and gave up my dream of having a coaching and consulting business! So I totally understand when I work with clients today who can’t seem to move forward on a particular project or goal that they are REALLY wanting to create or achieve. They have such gifts they need to bring to the world through their work, but they resist getting started or taking the first step.

What others think:

Resistance is one of the processes that masks fear. And more times than not, this fear is worrying about what other people might think. That worry, frankly, underlies all fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of humiliation, and even fear of success. We worry that whatever it is we’re setting out to do won’t be good enough in the eyes of others.

Trust me on this: You’ll worry a lot less about what other people think of you if you will acknowledge how infrequently other people think of you!

Everything good was once a bad first draft:

When I wanted to launch my first teleclass, and was anguishing over getting the marketing copy and the content perfect, someone said to me, “It’s the worst it will ever be, just go with it”. And I found this to be true. Once I got something down on paper, or took the first few steps on a project, I could always go back and change it, tweak it, even perfect it!

I saw a T-shirt the other day that captured this beautifully. It said: Everything good was once a bad first draft. You have to sit down and get that first awful draft finished so that you can begin polishing it through each successive approximation.

Assignment:

If there is something you are wishing to start, accomplish, complete, but can’t take that first step,try to figure out where the resistance is coming from-is it your own fears, worried about what others might think or say, fear of success. Whatever it is-it’s worth identifying.

Then just start-anywhere, write down a few things on a cocktail napkin, or type a few lines on your computer, or take just the first step to get going. Remember, you can always go back later and fix it. Someone also once told me, “Done is better than perfect”. Which is so perfect!

The path from good to great leads through good enough!!

5 Tips to Get In Control of Your Own Schedule and Stop Feeling Overwhelmed

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It is not unusual when I meet with a prospective or new client to hear, “I just can’t seem to get anything done”, or “I work nearly 60-70 hours a week, but I just seem to move from one thing to the next and don’t ever feel like I accomplish anything.” Or, “I tend to just wing stuff a lot and go with the flow”.

Many entrepreneurs and business people have the ability to handle a lot of different tasks, assignments and projects at the same time. However, as the old saying goes, “what got you here isn’t going to get you there”. In other words, while one of your strengths may be to “wing it”, that’s probably not going to continue to make you successful in your business or career. Or while you have been successful at multi-tasking or moving from one thing to the next, at some point, that’s not going to continue to work for you as you move up the ladder in your career or become more successful in your business.

Getting in control of your own schedule is crucial. And with good intentions, discipline and consistent practice, it can be accomplished. Here are five “tried and true” tips that have worked for me and my clients:

1-Keep a Time Log for 2 weeks-Keep a piece of paper near your desk or computer and keep a time log-by hour of how you spend your time. At the top of each page put the day with each hourly increment starting from when you wake to when you go to sleep. Be sure to be as detailed as possible noting what you’re working on (i.e. e-mail, project, meeting etc) what time you started and when you finished. It’s important to keep this for 2 weeks to be sure you cover a portion of time when things may only happen once, or things that routinely happen. At the end of two weeks, take the time to really analyze where there are time sucks. Where are you spending too much time, perhaps with e-mails, looking for things in your office, or on your desk? Are you moving from one thing to the next without completing the first project? While this task can in itself feel overwhelming, all of my clients who have completed this exercise have found it INVALUABLE to help them get more organized and dramatically improve their productivity.

2-Organize Your Work Area-If your work area is a disaster, or there are piles and piles on your desk, (oh, I know, you know where everything is, or you’re afraid if you file it away, you will forget to do it) there is no way you will ever feel or get in control of your own schedule. Schedule a time this week to spend the time getting your work area organized. Buy some cheap boxes or baskets, label them and put like papers and info into each of them. Throw away what you don’t need and create a “projects for the future” basket which you schedule to look at once a month for new ideas.

3-Don’t Leave Your Office For The Evening Without Planning For The Next Day-I never leave my office without making a list of the things I have to do the next day. That way, I don’t waste any time when I get into my office the next morning, trying to figure out what I need to do that day. I already know from my planning the previous night. I also prioritize my list by the most important. Research shows that most people are most productive in the morning hours and it’s the best time to do the “hardest stuff” first.

4-Finish One Priority Before You Move To The Next-When working your prioritized list (that you made the night before!), go as far as you can with the first priority, until it’s either completed or you can’t go any further, before you move on to the next one, and so on and so forth. This way you start to complete projects, rather than just getting a little done here and there without really completing any of them.

5-Respect Your Time-This means to value your time. If you’ve scheduled some personal time to work out, or take a walk, or take time off-stick to it. Don’t let other people, or other “time sucks” pull you off your schedule. It’s important to schedule free or personal time into your calendar and stick to it-just as you would if it were a client appointment. This will greatly begin to reduce your feeling of overwhelm because you are able to make some space in the day for yourself.

I strongly encourage you to take these five tips and implement them today. Give it two weeks, being as disciplined as you can in following these five things and see if it doesn’t make a difference in lowering your stress level and helping you feel more in control of your time and schedule!

So, What Do You Value?

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“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and VALUES are in balance”

Brian Tracy

One of the most important things you can do for yourself and your business is to get clear on your values. This not only allows you to understand the points on your internal compass, it also motivates you to head towards them! They can be used as a framework for which all decisions you might make can be held up against for consideration.

Most of us take a lifetime to understand who we are. Through life’s experiences, some unpleasant, we gradually come to know what we value, what we believe and what we have for gifts and skills to make a difference in the world.

Unless we know ourselves and understand our values, we become attached to what lures us in, and mere objects of other people’s will. We can become outer-directed and lost inside. We can easily be attracted to money, power, control and prestige. The chase for these things often leaves us feeling empty and yearning for something more.

The three most important rules to understand with values are these:

1-There are no right or wrong values. Only right or wrong for the individual. Your values are right for you and mine are right for me. It’s highly unlikely any two people will have exactly the same values because there are an infinite number of permutations.

2-Only you can determine which values are most important for you, someone else cannot determine your values.

3-If somebody’s values do appear to be blatantly wrong-refer back to rule #1

Assignment

Make a list of your values. You might want to take a look at a list of possible values to help you get started.

1-Circle the key values

2-Now identify your top five. Don’t try to override your gut feelings with an internal conversation that goes something along the lines of : “I suppose I should really have family at number one, otherwise the wife/husband/kids will kill me.”

3-Examine these top 5 values by responding to these questions:

Are you living out these 5 values? In your family? In your business? In your community?
How are you doing with these values? Very well, or not so well?
Where are you living out of alignment with your values?
If these values were missing from your life, how important would that be to you?

Value-centered living or leadership is acting on our beliefs and our values. When we use our values to make decisions or help us lead our business or lives, we become inner-directed and outwardly motivated.

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